Letters to
by queenofpassiveaggressiva
Summary: Following the events of 4.11, Meredith is missing, well, until Izzie and Alex find a packet of letters to nine different doctors. Inside them? That's a whole new mystery. Contains most of season four's main characters, but Meredith is the main character in this story.
1. Found

**AN- I hope you enjoy! The chapters are going to be a thousand words or less, and you'll understand by the end of this chapter. Please review!**

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><p><em>I'm sorry that you have to read this. By the time you've realized that I'm missing, and by the time you find this letter, I'll be thousands of miles away from here. I'm not committing suicide, I just need a fresh start. Please just forget about me. I'll just be that intern who shacked up with their attending that people used to know. Don't try to find me, because I don't want to be found. I'll be disconnecting my phone and changing my email address. Whoever finds this, I'm assuming its either Izzie or Alex, please give the separate letters to the addressed people.<em>

_Love,_

_Meredith_

"Alex!" Izzie called from Meredith's barren bedroom.

"Alex! Come here!" Izzie shouted this time.

"What is it? Woah," Alex came running in, taken aback by the empty room. He walked over to his friend's side and quickly read the note over.

Izzie started sobbing and Alex's face softened, but he didn't cry. It was all surreal. Meredith left Seattle?

"Wait, who are the letters to?" Alex asked.

Izzie pulled out all of the letters and spread them out on the abandoned mattress. There was nine in all. They were addressed to Cristina, Izzie, Alex, George, Lexie, Richard, Bailey, and surprisingly, Callie and Mark.

"Why is there a letter to Mark? I can kind of understand Callie, but not Mark," Alex asked.

"Who knows? But we have to get everyone here," Izzie replied, finally calming down a bit.-

"Getting the Chief and Bailey here is kind of awkward, but they'll want to know where Meredith's gone. She's been missing for three days for crying out loud!"

Everyone had assumed on the first day she was just out, getting drunk on tequila and trying to forget about how Derek and she broke up and that night he went on a date with some nurse. The next day, when she still didn't show up for work, everyone was a little worried, assuming that she'd show up by nightfall, extremely hung over. She hadn't, so Cristina and Lexie filed a missing persons report that night.

Izzie and Alex were both on-call last night, so they had just gotten home. Izzie decided to look for Meredith in her room, praying that she was passed out on the floor from all the alcohol.

"It's only eight o'clock. The Chief and Bailey are probably at the hospital, and we can page the rest there. It should be less awkward then."

"Okay…" Alex said skeptically.

"What's this?" Izzie picked up a white envelope, a couple feet away from the huge envelope now in Alex's hands.

"It's probably her resignation. If she handed it in to the chief, he wouldn't have let Cristina and Lexie file that missing persons report, and he would've told us by now."

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><p>"Karev… Stevens? What are you doing here? Your shift ended forty-five minutes ago!" Erica Hahn yelled after the two doctors, who continued to run away from their ordinate.<p>

Izzie and Alex continued to sprint, all the way to the chief's office, ignoring the glares they got along the way.

"Chief!" Izzie exclaimed, as her and Alex burst into Richard Webber's office.

"What do you guys need?" Richard looked up hopefully from his mountain-high stack of paper work. He wished that Meredith had finally showed up. Meredith was like the daughter he never had.

"We need you to page Cristina Yang, George O'Malley, Lexie Grey, Bailey, Callie Torres, and Mark Sloan," Alex panted, a bit out of breath from all the sprinting.

"Would you like to explain to me what's going on first?" Richard knew that something was terribly wrong, by the look on the two doctor's faces, and the request to page six doctors, respectively close to Meredith.

"We were both on-call last night, and when we finally got home tonight, I checked Meredith's room to see if she was there, we're her roommates. When I got in, everything was gone, except for the mattress and some furniture. On the bed was a big orange envelope and a smaller, letter sized envelope. We're assuming it's her resignation letter. In the big envelope, was a small note," Izzie paused and handed Richard the note.

She continued, "And, there were nine smaller envelopes, addressed to me, Alex, Cristina, George, Lexie, Bailey, Callie, Mark, and you."

Richard just nodded, and gently placed the letter down. His eyes became watery.

After what seemed like years, he finally spoke.

"I'll page them 911 to come here. You guys should sit down. I have a feeling this is going to be a very long night."

As predicted, it was the longest night of those nine doctor's lives.

**Okay, how was that? Whose letter do you want to read first? Please review!**


	2. Forever

"Doctor Yang, it's your pager," One of the nurses said, picked up the beeping black object.

"Damnit!" Cristina whispered to herself. She had finally gotten a cardio surgery, since she was on-call.

"Doctor Yang, are you going to answer that page, or are you going to curse under your breath and ignore your pages?" Erica Hahn looked up from the beating heart in front of them.

"What does it say?" Cristina asked the nurse impatiently.

"911 to the chief's office."

Cristina's face paled. There was only one reason why she'd be paged to the chief's office, and that was because of Meredith. She knew, deep in her gut, that something was wrong. Meredith Grey didn't have the best track record. Cristina quickly took her hands out of the woman's chest cavity and handed the suction to one of the observing interns and ran into the scrub room. She ripped off her gloves, surgical gown, and surgical cap and quickly scrubbed out. Cristina Yang sprinted to the chief's office, not bothering with the elevators and went straight for the stairs.

Cristina burst into the office, seconds later, panting. She saw Izzie crying quietly and Alex comforting her on the couch. She turned to Richard expectantly. His head was hung low.

"Have a seat, Doctor Yang. We should wait for the others to come."

Cristina did what she was told, not asking any questions. But the questions ate her alive.

_Where's Meredith? Was she in some kind of accident? Did she commit suicide? Did she leave? What did the chief mean by 'others'? They should only be waiting for George, maybe even Lexie!_

A half an hour later, when everyone was in Richard Webber's office, he finally passed around the small note, and then finally, the letters.

Cristina tore hers open, tears starting to form in her eyes.

_Dear Cristina,_

_I'm sorry. I know you're mad at me and you're probably going to kill Derek, because you're going to blame him. But I'm the one to blame. I kept on going back to him, I kept on letting him break me. I kept on letting him in. If I just broke it off from him for real after your almost-wedding (sorry for bringing that up), I wouldn't be like this. I'm leaving this town because I need a change. I don't want to be known as 'the slutty intern who broke up Derek and Addison's marriage', or 'the girl stupid enough to screw the attending', or 'the girl stupid enough to fall for him', or 'the girl stupid enough to go back to the asshole that broke her heart'. I want to be respected where I work, and I don't want people knowing every single detail of my personal life. I don't want people to know all of my failures. I'm done with Seattle Grace. It's worn me down too much, and if I stay there much longer, I'll be nothing. Every day, when I'm going to work, I'll have to suffer watching Derek and that nurse. It's not that I'm not happy for him, but now I know that he never actually loved me, or cared for me. One day, he's making out with scrub nurses. The next, showing me plans of our house. He didn't trust me, ever. He wanted to make sure I wasn't going to run when he showed me the plans. Enough about Derek, because he's an asshole, and I don't really want to talk about him. _

_I'm going to miss you. I've only known you for a year and a couple of months now, but it feels like forever. You're my person, you always will be. Even if I'm not yours after leaving Seattle. You've been there with me, and I've been there for you, no matter what. Remember the time we almost blew up together? Those were good times, even though the bomb actually did explode and it didn't kill us, even though it almost killed me. I'll always remember that day as the day I almost lost everything. Today's the day I actually did (lose everything, not die from a bomb in a body cavity). Today I'm losing you, and everybody else, and my life. The whole hospital is, was, my life. _

_Please make sure that my interns get good residents, because I know they'll probably be split up between residents. Please make sure you get George as your intern, or give him to Alex. You guys are the best residents. No offense to Izzie, but her interns are imbeciles, and she may have contributed to that fact. You should ease up on your interns, also. Let them participate in surgeries, trust them to do simple procedures. It'll do them good. _

_Once I'm finally settled, I'll call you. That will probably be a couple months away. Don't try to track me down, or anything, because trust me, I call. Also, you can move into my house, or I guess my old house now. I don't know how you are still living in Burke's old apartment. If you do, have fun with Alex and Izzie being your roommates._

_Love,_

_Meredith_

In the envelope, Cristina found at the bottom a picture of Meredith and her at Joe's bar. It was from before Cristina had the ectopic pregnancy and the whole shebang with Burke, before Derek had a wife. It was when both of them were pretty happy.

Cristina turned the picture over, and found a single word written in Meredith's handwriting.

It read: Forever.

A single tear ran down Cristina's face.

**AN- So, here's the first letter! I got mixed reviews on who's letter should be posted first (special thanks to the two people who reviewed and to my awesome friends Catilina and Andrea!), so I decided, I should post Meredith's person. Please review and tell me who's letter I should post next! Everyone that does will have a snippet of the letter sent to them (if you aren't a guest) once I write a part that seems fit.**


	3. Dark and Twisty

Lexie was too consumed taking notes on the bypass surgery Doctor Hahn was performing to notice that Cristina Yang had left the OR. Lexie had already filled a page in her notebook, writing down every swift movement Erica Hahn had made with her scalpel. The surgery had started a little over fifteen minutes ago. Even though Lexie wasn't on call, her shift had ended five minutes ago, and she had already started observing the surgery. She didn't think it'd matter.

The only thing that pulled Lexie's attention from the operating table was the shrill beep of her pager. When she looked down at her waistband and saw that it was a 911 to the chief's office, Lexie knew it was about Meredith. Why else would she be paged? To her knowledge, she didn't do anything wrong.

Lexie dropped her notebook and pencil on the gallery floor and ran out, as fast as she could to the chief's office. Maybe Meredith had finally showed up to work, unharmed. Maybe Meredith was found in the ER, hurt. Maybe Meredith was found in the ER, dead.

When she had finally reached Richard Webber's office, she took a deep breath. Something was wrong.

Richard Webber held his head in his hands, trying not to cry. Izzie Stevens was sobbing, and Alex Karev was comforting her. Cristina Yang in a chair, paler than ever, staring at the wall. When the door shut, Richard looked up solemnly.

"Doctor Grey, take a seat. We have to wait for the others to arrive."

A half-hour later, when they did, Lexie ripped open the letter and furiously read the scribbled words.

_Dear Lexie, _

_I know you're probably shocked that I've written this letter for you. If I didn't, I would've left so many thoughts unheard, words unspoken. I didn't want to carry that burden any longer, and you deserve better than that._

_I said you were somebody that I never wanted to know. I lied. Even though our dad chose you over me, I'm glad it was you. I can't see you being dark and twisty, like me. It was hard, forcing myself to try and hate you. You've grown onto me. So, of course, I am forced to like you now. Well, not exactly forced, because I don't really mind._

_Don't, in anyway, think I'm leaving because of you. Now I know that sounds pretty vain, but I need you to know this. I know we haven't been on the best of terms, considering you think that I hate your guts. I don't. I mean, I made you an omelet (even though I botched it, since I can't cook, and George told me you were allergic to eggs later that day… I am sorry that you had to eat them anyway). That's about as sisterly as I can get. You see, the thing is, we can't get to know each other anymore. I mean, we still can get to know each other, but it'll be hard. That's because I decided when I was an intern to fall in love with an attending (although, to be fair, I met him before I knew he was my boss). And with that, came all the gossip, secrets, and lies that got me into the position I am in today. Now, I have to leave Seattle Grace because nobody can take me seriously personally, and if they can't take me seriously personally, they can't take me seriously professionally. I screwed the chance for people taking me seriously professionally and personally up, literally. If I want to be a successful surgeon, I can't stay here. _

_I suggest not falling in love with attendings, or any of the staff at Seattle Grace, because it will all lead to trouble. Also, be nice to the nurses. If you aren't, they'll make your life a living hell._

_Okay, so long and rambled letter short, I want a chance to be your sister. We should start off as friends first, though. I've never had a sister before. I definitely won't be the best sister you could ask for. In fact, I'll be far from it. The only thing I'm good at, really, is surgery (in my opinion at least). I know it'll be harder to get to know you now that I've left, but we can try. I've disconnected my current phone number and email address, because I don't want people to try and contact me yet. When I get settled, I'll reach out to you. I promise._

_Love,_

_Meredith_

Lexie took a sharp inhale. When she had finally started getting along with Meredith, stupid Derek had to get in the way. Lexie shoved the letter into her pocket and stood up quickly from her chair, suddenly needing the fresh outside air. She couldn't breathe in the stuffy hospital air anymore.

Lexie Grey, for the first time in her life, classified herself as dark and twisty. She wasn't dark and twisty after her mother died. She was deeply saddened, but she knew her mother still wanted her to be bright and shiny, for her father's, and her own, sake. She knew her mother wanted her life to be celebrated, not mourned.

But Lexie was dark and twisty because, for the first time, she felt as though she fit in, that she had friends. Sure, she had friends growing up, but she was always different. She had always wanted to become a doctor growing up, instead of a celebrity, a princess, or some other little girl's dream career. She was the outcast in her group of friends. Lexie finally had friends that related to her. She had George, and she had had Meredith, but Meredith wouldn't be here anymore. She'd be somewhere, miles away from Seattle. Lexie didn't even know where she was!

Lexie Grey, was in fact, dark and twisty.

**AN: How was this chapter? If you review, I'll send you a snippet of the next letter (only if you are not a guest)! Please leave who I should do next in the reviews!**


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